It happens to the best of us: life is moving along just fine and then, wham!, trauma hits at mach speed. In the moment, you’ll do what needs to be done in order to get through the situation. The normal human response to trauma is fight, flight or freeze. You’ll do one of these things. The moment will pass and you’ll be left with a lifetime to think about what happened.
But do you really want to spend the rest of your future replaying what happened in the past? I didn’t think so! To follow are five easy ways you can stop the past from haunting you before it even begins.
1 – Face what happened immediately. When something shocking happens we have a tendency to go into emotional overload. We’re in pain. We feel powerless and overwhelmed. All we want to do is suppress how we feel and move forward. This is the #1 mistake survivors make. You will be able to do this, but not for long. The brain needs to process what occurred. When you don’t give it time and a way to do that the traumatic imprint buries itself below the surface of consciousness and can lead to a deep emotional disturbance.
2 – Connect with a support system. One of the shocks of trauma is the feeling that we are in danger and are, for all intents and purposes, alone in getting ourselves to safety. Healing and coping after trauma should be exactly the opposite. Building a professional and personal support system, including trauma trained practitioners and close family members and friends, gives both your mind and your body a sense of community and security, which can be crucial in processing the experience.
3 – Focus on staying in the present. Trauma imprints in the mind and then can become a broken record as the mind constantly replays snippets of the most intense moments during the event. There are many good ways of combating this, including several practices that develop a deep grounded sense in the present. Try things like meditation, yoga, relaxation visualizations, breathing exercises and even this: Sit or stand very still. Become very aware of each of your 5 senses. What do you see, hear, taste, smell or feel?
4 – Expect you and the world to seem different. There is no way around it – trauma changes you. After trauma you are still the same person, but your perceptions will have changed. The world, yourself and your life will seem different because of your experience. This is only natural. Anyone who has gone through trauma would feel the same. Don’t let this worry you. In fact, embrace it by seeing your new perspective as just different information. And then challenge that information. What parts of it do you need? What parts are true? What parts are false? The biggest change is that you have learned new things. What have you learned? How can you use that information to your advantage?
5 – Take an action to reclaim your power. After trauma it’s only natural to feel like a victim. But don’t let that feeling last! The victim mindset puts you on a slippery slope into weakness and inertia. Take a moment to think about what makes you feel powerful, strong and confident. Maybe it’s something in your past. Maybe it will be something new. Whatever it is, find something to do that reconnects you with your strong and powerful self. For example, victims of violence might take a self-defense class. What will it take for you to feel in control? Answer this question and then go do it!
A bonus tip – Educate yourself about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). In the majority of people, the mind will take 3 – 4 weeks to process, make peace and move on from a traumatic experience. However, in a small percentage of survivors this process doesn’t complete. Many then experience PTSD, a mental state that becomes dysfunctional over time. This entirely treatable condition is easy to recognize if you know the signs. Read up on PTSD so that you can recognize symptoms in yourself or your loved ones.
There’s a delicate balance to be maintained after trauma. While it is necessary to accept and acknowledge the past, it is equally necessary to focus on your purpose in the present. Do what you need to support the balance. There’s a whole life waiting for you. Turn toward the future and walk into it!
Michele Rosenthal is a trauma survivor who struggled with undiagnosed PTSD for 25 years. And then she was diagnosed and went on a healing rampage! Today, she is 100% PTSD-free and the founder of Heal My PTSD, LLC (www.healmyptsd.com).She works as a Self-Empowered Healing Coach helping survivors recover, reconstruct and reconnect with their untraumatized selves.
